Making Chalkboard Lists

There are 10 hard lessons you’ll learn when you decide to publish a book.

1. There’ll be many people who will congratulate you but never read your book.
2. There will be the occasional bad review.
3. You should never reply to a bad review. If you do, you’ll regret it.
4. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay.
5. Someone close to you will think your writing time is the perfect time to talk.
6. You won’t become famous or rich because of your book.
7. You will have to pay for promotion; nothing is free.
8. You will give more books away than you’d planned on.
9. There will be mistakes in your book despite everyone’s best efforts.
10. You will have to speak in public about your book.

And there are 10 perks to being an author.

1. You’ll get to talk about your book everywhere you go.
2. Friends will enjoy introducing you as a published author.
3. You’ll be allowed to be moody and uncommunicative for hours at a time while in the company of others.
4. Authors drink coffee in the morning hours, and wine in the evening hours. It’s a rule.
5. Some people will actually read your book!
6. And occasionally, you will get a glowing review.
7. You’ll be the subject of an interview or blog.
8. You have the option of working in your pajamas all day on the couch, as long as the laptop is open.
9. Daydreaming is still writing time. So is watching movies and reading books that are not your own.
10. You’ll be asked to sign your book.